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Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor Last week, I discussed why women can't find a "good" man (here).
In that article, I explained my hypothesis that women are stuck in a double-bind between what they are told through modern social norms and their own biological motivation.
With this strategy, men are often able to fulfill their short-term sexual needs—especially within the modern, socially-sanctioned climate of "hook-ups" and causal encounters.
In fact, many of these men are former virgins and "nice guys" who previously could not get their physical needs addressed.
2) Partnering Carefully - another strategy adopted by some men is to adhere to social norms and become a "good guy" or even "domestic partner". However, men who follow this strategy should pick their partner carefully.
Overall, men in either case report also having a difficult time finding what they label "attractive" women for longer-term relationships.Men often define these women along evolutionary psychology lines—women who are sexually-selective, faithful, physically attractive, and have a pleasant, respectful disposition (for more on these qualities, see Buss, 2003 and my own articles here and here).Unfortunately, these qualities are again part of women's double bind, with social norms sometimes guiding them away from these biologically feminine characteristics.Furthermore, they do so in a situation where women's own social instruction may reduce the very characteristics that many of these men desire.Given that, many men sit on the couch, plug in a video game, and opt out—just as Behaviorism and Skinner might predict.