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When we make choices out of fear we are ignoring a deeper truth.We tend to become good at weaving an internal narrative that says, “I have to lock a partner down fast, or else . .”In fact, research has shown that many women are willing to stay in unhappy and unfulfilling relationships because they're intimidated by the prospect of being alone.As a result, they have a lot of love (sunk costs) for their date or mate. Are you giving without expectation of receiving anything back in return? Or, is there a part of your giving that is rooted in the hopes you will get love and acknowledgement in return?
And they can only be answered when we take a hard look at ourselves.
While your friends see that your relationship is unhealthy, and your rational mind does too, you just can’t seem to get out. “Doing favors for others and treating them well, leads us to value and love them…They do all of the “doing”.
You know deep down inside that the person is not right for you, but make justifications and excuses over and over again. They are the ones waiting on their partner, doing good deeds, buying gifts, etc. So, they are not at all in love or committed.” Before you engage in another act of love, ask yourself what your true intention is.
“We have this normal together, whatever that normal is.
And the bad feeling forces you to come back.” He points out that both men and women who have been verbally or physically abused often refuse to leave those relationships similarly to how drugs addicts cannot leave their relationship with drugs. Then, “They rationalize their choice to stay by focusing on positive traits their partner might possess.” Sound familiar? Each relationship that comes in your life is the universe’s way of delivering a lesson for you to learn.